Friday, January 02, 2009

The Way-ya-ting is the Hardest Part (Tom Petty)

I was so cocky. I told everyone that I was going to work right up until I went into labor. My big fear about that was that my water would break in my office. My carpeted office that I share with about 10 other people. People told me that I wouldn't want to, that I'd be too tired or uncomfortable. HA! I live with discomfort, I can do this. At least I thought I could.

Then, almost 2 weeks ago, I was resting on the sofa at the recommendation of my chiropractor who has been amazingly keeping me fairly mobile and active. I got up to go to the kitchen, and WHAM! My entire lower back seized, spasmed, sputtered and died. Breath-taking pain. I couldn't take any good meds, I couldn't even take ibuprofen. I could barely move.

So, my medical providers agreed with each other... I shouldn't go back to work. The late stage of pregnancy is aggravating my pre-existing condition... a genetic connective tissue disorder (another post, another time). It won't get better and activity will only make it worse.

Now, I'm a first-time parent. My goal/plan is to have a natural and unmedicated birth. I'm very committed to this, and I feel confident and resolved. BUT... the idea of going into labor ALREADY in pain scares the crap out of me. I feel like I am as prepared as I can be to use a variety of techniques to manage the normal, purposeful pain of childbirth. But the pain of injury is a very different thing, and the two together is daunting.

Two weeks later, I'm lying on the sofa. I haven't been to work, and I'm just waiting to go into labor. I'm cursing my fragile body while trying to take the best care of it that I can. It has a task to do.
An incredible, amazing, awesome task.
Sooner than later would be nice.

1 comment:

Maggie, Dammit said...

The number one lesson of parenting is surrender.