Girls Like Me

I was at a party last week and also in attendance was "Gene"...name changed to protect the far-from-innocent.... I went to a get together at the home of two of my women-friends. They are fairly hippie-ish, progressive, near-east side women, not lesbians but often mistaken for lesbians, which I can relate to. It was the usual suspects, a gathering of artists, do-gooders, service-industry folk and then there was "Gene". What the hell was this guy doing here anyway? Loud, rude, tactless and seemingly from another planet, or at least another side of town. This guy thinks that touching women uninvited is flirting and that look of disgust they get is playing hard-to-get. Throughout the evening I heard "what's up, bitches?" several times as a conversation starter.
At one point the man referenced my "titty"... no lie. I was so shocked I failed to do the honorable thing which would have been to kill him where he stood.

So, naturally when I ran into him again during the week, he asked me for my phone number. He told me that he went over and grabbed his balls first.. I believe he was referencing courage, but again... I was stunned into silence. I did manage a meek and feeble "no", but not nearly the verbal lashing and stern lesson on gender relations that he deserved.

All that I could think on my way home was "girls like me don't go out with guys like you".