So, I 'm getting married.
First of all, I'm really really happy. I have found the absolutely most perfect guy for me. He thinks I'm cute, he doesn't freak out, and he's so honest/trustworthy/chock full of integrity that even I can't be cynical about him. I am not worried about being with him, and only him, for ever.
I don't know how to be this engaged person. I haven't been dreaming about a huge white dress with 6 blushing bridesmaids in matching horrible dresses. We don't have a song, there was no formal proposal, we don't have a church and I don't even like cake.
I get really uncomfortable when we tell people that we are getting married.
It feels like anxiety, or like embarrassment. I feel like I'm blushing and I want to quickly change the subject. I think that I just didn't ever think about being this person, how I would incorporate my feminism, my ideals, my social conscience and innate distrust of the status quo with being "engaged". But I'm figuring it out.